I hate my job.

But these are things I have to look forward to:
the Vineyard for the 4th.
my birthday.
a new computer (someday soon)
the end of my job and the subsequent start of working with the kids again.

That'll get me through the summer... or at least July.

What do you have planned?


After driving home I went to get an oil change and I was in the waiting room at Jiffy Lube when I realized that I never see grown-ups sitting cross-legged in public places. I thought to myself "If I'm a grown-up, I should really sit like one" and then I continued to sit cross-legged anyway.

People keep asking me if I feel different and, other than things like that, I don't.

But it's been a month since I graduated and a lot has changed:
I've moved back home after 7 years in dorms and I'm attempting to move everything old out and everything current in (and then I want to redecorate).
I started working a week after graduation in special education. I'm in charge of the 8th graders in one of the resource rooms in the junior high. Basically, I go to each of the classes so I can keep track of the material and assignments, and when the students are in the resource room I keep them on task and help them if they need it. That's going to change over the summer, and I know what I'll be doing then... but for now the job is great. I get weekends off and I'm home every day by 2:30, although I do have to be there at 7:30 every morning.
And of course, I am far away from some of the most important people in my life.

A lot of it is very exciting, and I manage to spend a majority of my time upbeat... but I can feel it draining on me. Yesterday I slept all afternoon and then burst into tears before dinner. I am tired and overwhelmed and especially lonely.

Eventually the dust will settle and everything will be clear, but right now life is pretty murky.