Murky

After driving home I went to get an oil change and I was in the waiting room at Jiffy Lube when I realized that I never see grown-ups sitting cross-legged in public places. I thought to myself "If I'm a grown-up, I should really sit like one" and then I continued to sit cross-legged anyway.

People keep asking me if I feel different and, other than things like that, I don't.

But it's been a month since I graduated and a lot has changed:
I've moved back home after 7 years in dorms and I'm attempting to move everything old out and everything current in (and then I want to redecorate).
I started working a week after graduation in special education. I'm in charge of the 8th graders in one of the resource rooms in the junior high. Basically, I go to each of the classes so I can keep track of the material and assignments, and when the students are in the resource room I keep them on task and help them if they need it. That's going to change over the summer, and I know what I'll be doing then... but for now the job is great. I get weekends off and I'm home every day by 2:30, although I do have to be there at 7:30 every morning.
And of course, I am far away from some of the most important people in my life.

A lot of it is very exciting, and I manage to spend a majority of my time upbeat... but I can feel it draining on me. Yesterday I slept all afternoon and then burst into tears before dinner. I am tired and overwhelmed and especially lonely.

Eventually the dust will settle and everything will be clear, but right now life is pretty murky.