Burning Into the Night

Tonight around 10 I decided I was tired of this terrible feeling of being lonely and trapped and helpless and like my head is going to crack open. I decided I didn’t want to wait for something to happen to make it better any longer, so it was time to clean my room.

My tiny dorm room has been a terrible mess for way too long and has been stressing me out. I’m so effected by it that last weekend I actually burst into tears when my boy cracked a joke about it as he tiptoed his way through the tangle of clothes, scarves, textbooks, cords, and shoes that blanketed my floor.

So I headed for the closet where I unpacked my suitcase from spring break
(!!!) and set my shoes in rows and put away the laundry I did 2 weeks ago. Then I worked out from there: I filed papers that needed filing, I set aside more clothes to consign and more stuff to send home, I gathered up all the materials for my latest project and set them aside in a showbox, I threw away a lot of receipts and random pieces of paper, I made about 20 paper cranes (I've been behind), I updated my to-do list, I did my finances for March, I wrote a letter to my aunt, I unpacked a box that’s been sitting there since I moved in in January.

Some of my clothes in my drawers need to be re-folded, I have a some dishes to do, and the floor desperately needs to be vacuumed but all in all I’m feeling wonderfully accomplished. My 4-day headache is down to a dull roar and the desire to scream has diminished. I’m glad I didn’t wait until it was time to move out to do all this like I told myself I would. It wasn’t hard and I feel so much better.

Now the test will be: can I keep everything in its place for the next month?